This has been the most powerful word/attribute I have focused on yet. I honestly, feel like I could choose this every year and it would be the only thing I needed because it's vision is so all encompassing. What I really tried to work on with this attribute was finishing what I started. Seeing my work to completion. It helped me work more effectively and find more joy and satisfaction in the work I was doing.
I had thought about just doing it again, but then I realized I carry it with me as I move forward. Instead I'm challenging myself with an attribute that I struggle the most with. Faith. I struggle with faith, always have. I'm not one to put my trust in something so completely that I'm fine with whatever outcome comes my way. Nikki's a bit of a control freak. And I know exactly why. I have no backup plan. The day of my Father's funeral it hit me...you screw this up, nobody has room in their basement for you anymore. There is no home hearth to enjoy or open wallet to support any financial blunders I may make.
This acted like a bucket of ice water tossed on my faith. Sizzle, fizz, gone. Well, I wonder if it was more my hopefullness, but the two are so interconnected...whatever it was it froze right then. So I guess it all depends on my works. I've heard of the scripture, "faith without works is dead," but here I had created my own twisted version of, "work and forget about faith", because if you can't make it happen there is no point in trusting in some sunny tomorrow.
Ya, see, I need this.
I need to refocus on this attribute. Of course it's not all dried up, it's simply time to redefine some parts of it, accept and be grateful for how very blessed I am and continue moving forward.