Hey Smelly Tramp

It's 10:00 am on the first day of September and the scent of eau de skunk is fierce in my world yet again. Not only my world but also the world of my immediate family and neighborhood. I'm beginning to think the horrid anonymous poster that still regales me with insults has a black stripe down their back. Someone's clearly not a fan.

Tale No. 3

Since our last skunk interlude, we have put some security measures in place that have probably only acted as a source of amusement to the demon spawn, but made me feel somewhat better. I placed outdoor lighting against the house in the backyard and installed a flashlight practice that was performed on a daily basis once it got dark. We shone lights through the window in the den, flashed lights in the backyard and would even go out ourselves with the flashlight and shine it around the yard, in all the dark bits, till we felt sure there was no skunk.

ALL of these things we did last night. NONE of these things worked. Russ went out, shone the light hither and yon, Roopert ran to his favorite spot by the shed and all seemed fine. Russ headed off to bed and I stayed up to wait for Roo to finish. As I was letting him in he heard the back bush shake slightly and ran up to investigate. I immediately called him back and he ran right back to me. In that amount of time he was sprayed.

I didn't know this yet though. I picked him up so he wouldn't dart to the corner again, and then looked down to inspect him. His chest looked wet, like someone had tossed a glass of water on him and then I knew. The smell intensified, and all too late I realized that I had skunk musk all over my arm that was holding Roo. YAY!

Now the hard part was getting help. I screamed for Russ like my life was at stake. I rang the doorbell dozens of times in a frantic row. Dude didn't hear a thing. Thought my doorbell ringing was trick to get an obstinate dog in the house. Good thing he eventually smelt the spray...or I could still be standing there crying my eyes out in smelly misery.

I have now decided I am going to be become skunk Rambo. If you are some skunk animal activist, sorry you are no longer welcome here. I wish death and misery to all members of the skunk family. I have ordered traps from the county and laughed myself silly when I read that they wanted me to move the "caught skunk in the cage" into the shade. Um...what, we don't want the little angels to perspire? Like it's been hot enough for even humans to be uncomfortable in the sun. Oh and I get to pay $50 bucks for two weeks of skunk trapping. Delightful.

Good news: Roopert barely smells of skunk today. I used a skunk cleaner spray from the pet store I had on hand and then washed him with full on TKO orange cleaner and it did the trick better than anything else...BUT this was the lightest spray that hit him yet.

Bad news: The house REEKS. Nothing but work ahead of me to get this smell out. Oh and Roopert was traumatized from this event. I stayed up till 3 am trying to neutralize the smell and if I thought my efforts worked at removing the smell from the house - they were dashed when Kia practically gagged walking into the kitchen... but I can't even imagine how awful it would have been in here if I hadn't done what I did. This bad news segment could go on for ages...you get the point.


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