New Experience No.2

Saturday we spent the day at the only outdoor waterslide Edmonton offers, Wild Waters. It's in the industrial park on the far west side of Edmonton, notice a theme here? Anyways, the weather was supposed to be (and was) lovely and hot and we all wanted some sun damage to prove we were living a little.

Wild Waters is an interesting establishment. We had a great time, don't get me wrong, but we paid for every last smile and snicker the slides wrung out of us. Dude, next time I decide to go there, remind me to sell my embryo's or something to fund such an outing. The price of admission for our family was $72.00 for not that much water park. Not that I'm trying to be all Suze Orman about the outing, but it wasn't a cheap family outing. Lunch was $22.00 for crappy burgers and a hotdog. For real! I'll stop being the banker now....just saying!

Maybe in another life I can be one of those "lifeguards" that stares into oblivion at the top of the slide and waves when it's your turn to go. Doesn't that sound like a fun job? Ya, but the tan lines might be worth it. Needless to say, we had fun waiting for the "lifeguards who cared so very little for lives" to wave at us so we could scoot down and do it all over again. The nice feature of this park is that there are no stairs, just a paved walk way that meanders up a hill, sometimes leisurely and sometimes sharply.

Now I must stop my story telling to admit something about myself. I'll go and participate in swimsuit activities with my family, but I draw the line at floaty tubes. It's bad enough I'm out in public in my swimsuit, I don't need to be a fat girl shoved in the center of a little tube to make me feel even better about myself. Thus, Russ and Kia had great fun on the tube river, and declared it their favorite ride, abandoning me time and time again to enjoy it. This left me plenty of time to people watch, missile myself off some slide drops and bake in the sun.

One of my people watching stories: There were these two creepy guys photographing this very made up black haired girl in a bikini. Russ said it was a Sunshine Girl shoot. Right. Whatever it was, it was weird and creepy. Every know and then this bald guy and this older guy that looked like he was from Monty Python would appear and this girl would be all pouty and alluringly posing for them on the lazy river tube ride, in the volleyball court, splashing in the kiddie pool...awkward. When all was said and done, creepy guys leave and bikini girls stays. I was in line when she started making the moves on this young native guy with an incredibley cool eagle tattoo on his chest. And by moves, I mean lip licking, finger sucking, and hey do you want to watch me roll around in the volleyball court slugger lines you ever heard. He shot her down neatly and cleanly with the old, 'sorry I'm married' line. She did the best "like whatever, I really didn't like you anyway" shoulder shrug and hair fling I think I've ever seen. See - these are the classic moments I would have missed had I been on the tube ride.

We left just as another crazy Edmonton storm decided to reek havoc and spoil the remaining patron's fun anyway. It was definitely somewhere new and we all have stronger tan lines to prove that we enjoyed summer on the August long weekend and isn't that what it's all really about anyway?

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