Course of action

This is one of those really honest posts. Like reading my diary. It is not meant to blame or offend is my own very personal response and as of now, I'm the only person in a room of a couple hundred that felt this way.

I was a member of a congregation over the past month and we were listening to the final speaker. An elderly woman rose up with the help of younger family members and they started helping her out of the room. It was clear this women was in some sort of distress by the way she was being supported by the group of men around her. At the back of the room she collapsed.

The meeting never paused.

A doctor in the audience rushed to the women's aid. 911 was called. The relatives of the family reacted with cautious alarm while the meeting kept going. The ambulance arrived, EMT's were entering the room, and the meeting kept going.

I was so bothered by this. I even made a comment to my husband and a lady in front of me that if I was one of those ambulance attendants, I would have found this to be the most ridiculous meeting in the world. Another lady overheard this and told us we shouldn't be so judgmental.

I still think it was a pretty ballsy comeback, but I don't think my response is so easily defined. For one, she misinterpreted my response as blame on the leaders of this meeting. I didn't have that. I still don't. For me it was more shock and amazement over the response of all of us, myself included, as a whole. Was our agenda really so much more important than the needs of this woman and her family? Could we not have done more to respect the situation?

I kept thinking, "what if that was me and my loved one collapsed and in need at the back of the room?" My family can't hear well, how would I communicate clearly with the ambulance attendant as I competed with a microphone? What if that was the last moment between that husband and wife and our agenda talked over it? I'm still just flabbergasted at the whole situation.

It didn't represent me or what I believe in. I felt and even still feel embarrassed. I felt like I was in a giant social experiement and failed to the highest degree. I felt like we were given a chance to be the good samaritan and instead we walked on by.

* I never planned on posting this, but I can't get it off my mind. Maybe that means somebody out there needs to read it. Maybe it means, someone has insights that I may have not considered. Maybe it's just about getting real.

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